Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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