No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
