We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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