oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
