My nipple is on Facebook.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
