I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
