i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
