If that was your dad, he is hot
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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