I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
