look no pants
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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