Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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