I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
high people should be assigned attendants
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
