I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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