I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
