you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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