I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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