I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
