i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
