last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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