i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
