so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
