butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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