I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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