I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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