Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
