lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize