Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
3pm strippers are depressing
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
