I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
