ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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