Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
