she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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