He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
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