loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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