Plan B is the new Plan A
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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