There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
