i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
