just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
