Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Text me some of your sweat
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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