After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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