Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
