Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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