I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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