I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
