She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
