yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
