All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
