is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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