is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
