I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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