Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
