she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
this hospital has no fireball
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
