We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
