If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
