It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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