i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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