I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
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