somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
