he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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