Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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