; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
