I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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