I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I don't deserve a penis
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Terrible idea I love it
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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