Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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