i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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