We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
