do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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