So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
