You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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